"Is it a boy?" She smiled warmly. "You're at that age where you think about boys." She winked. "I'll bet they think a lot about you."Patti's face turned scarlet. "It's not a boy, Mommy. Honest." She wished she had never seen her mother out in the barn. Everything was all mixed up now."You should be thinking about boys," Alice said. A wide smile broke across her face and her eyes glowed. "Trust me."Patti turned away."It's sex, right?" Alice laughed. "Of course it's sex." She reached across the table and touched her daughter's hand. "What's the problem?" No problem," Patti lied. "What about you?" she said, changing the subject. "Daddy's been gone a long time. Don't you think about sex?" Of course, honey," Alice laughed. "I never stop thinking about it." What do you do about it?" Patti's heart was racing at full speed.It was Alice's turn to blush. "Nothing," she said, avoiding Patti's questioning blue eyes. They were the same eyes as her father's, pale blue and wide.Patti smiled,. I make the holes bigger. -- Steven WrightThis guy is sitting at the end of the bar looking gloomy. His friend arrives and sits down beside him. “Why so glum, chum?” he asks his sad friend.“Oh, it’s my wife, she beats me at everything we compete at. Jogging, bowling, tennis, cards ... just everything.”The friend orders a beer and pauses to think. “I know,” he exclaims, “Challenge her to a pissing contest.”“A pissing contest?”“Surely you can out distance her on that ... do it on the front lawn so you can see the difference.”“Ok, I’ll do it.”So he goes home and says to his wife, “I challenge you to distance pissing contest. We’ll meet on the front lawn after dark.”So they each prepare themselves drinking lots of beverage prior to the contest. After dark they meet and the husband suggests the wife go first. So she drops her drawers and lets out with a modest shower.Hubby steps up, drops his drawers, and grabs his “equipment”. His wife says, “Ah, no, dear. No hands allowed.”A woman goes.
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